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Short answer: Yes, but it depends on the shade and the event. For strict black tie, a tuxedo remains the right choice. For black-tie optional or formal events, a dark charcoal suit can absolutely work. Traditional black tie calls for a tuxedo, usually black or midnight blue. That’s the traditional rule, and if you want to play it completely safe, a black tux is never wrong. But black-tie dress codes have loosened over the years, and a well-chosen grey suit can absolutely work

One of the first things parents ask when they start planning a bar mitzvah is: What should we be doing right now? There are plenty of bar mitzvah planning checklists online with dozens, sometimes hundreds, of tasks. But the bigger issue usually isn't whether something is on the list. It's whether you're making decisions in the right order. A logo does not need your attention before you have a venue. Swag does not need to be ordered before you know your design direction. And y

I just turned 50, so I've been thinking a lot about this milestone birthday. Funny enough, we took a spectacular trip to Iceland in July to celebrate. Because I spend every week planning parties for other people, it was actually important to me to do something completely different. That is really the point when planning a 50th birthday party: the best ideas are not about pressure to do something big. They are about choosing a celebration that fits the person being honored. Tu

How to get into party planning I spent 25 years in HR, leadership development and diversity and inclusion strategy before I became an event planner. My route into party planning was not traditional, but that is part of the point: there is no single background or career path required to do this work well. If you'd told me at 30 (or even 40!) that this is where I'd end up, I wouldn't have believed you. I have no regrets about making the leap, but there are a few things I can sh

How much money should you give for a bar or bat mitzvah? I get asked this one a lot, usually by an out-of-town guest coming to New Jersey for a bar or bat mitzvah, or a local parent whose child has just received their first invitation. It also comes up all the time on mitzvah-planning Facebook groups. If you are trying to determine an appropriate bar or bat mitzvah gift amount, there is no single correct answer. Your relationship with the guest of honor and family, your own b

If you're in the early stages of planning — or you're a guest trying to figure out your Saturday — here's the short answer: most bar and bat mitzvah services last approximately 90 minutes to three hours, although private services may be shorter and some traditional Shabbat morning services may run longer. Here's how that breaks down. Bar Mitzvah service length by denomination: Reform, Conservative, Orthodox Does denomination affect the length of a bar or bat mitzvah service?